Sept 25th 2008 is ~ My After ~

Still here!

2010-10-07T16:52:00.001-04:00

It's been so long since I been on here. But I have learned a lot about myself
over the last few months that I think is worth putting out there. So here goes.

            The first being that once you start loosing weight, you start really
living! I know that I have been living in the have always done things for basic
survival: eating, breathing, sleeping, going to work, paying the bills etc. I
wasn't having very much fun. Not that having fun is a must. But there has been a
serious lack of Joy. Happy and successful people take the time enjoy eating,
enjoy working, and they get joy out of other things they do. Why else would they
do them?
            Not that everything has been miraculously more enjoyable since
surgery. By no means is that true. Yet despite my attempts at being like my old
cranky, tired and unhappy self to prove I wasn't going to totally change. I did.
I am at that point where I enjoy going to work. I enjoy having the energy to get
up and get ready for work and not be totally winded before I get there. Eating
now days is a bit of a pain the butt. But that's okay. If it was too easy, I
wouldn't have lost the weight I have to now.
            I also enjoy moving around and being active. Ironically, I miss so
very much. Back in the 1st week of august I fell and broke my foot. I know who
does that? Well apparently I do. Not a big deal in many ways, but very much so
in the grand scheme of things. I have been none weight bearing since then. No
walking, no standing, no treadmill, no exercise bike, no swimming. No fun! And
my 6 and 8 yr old nephews were to come to visit 2 days after I fell. I thought I
just sprained it, so I failed to mention it to my sister not to bring them. It
turned out well though, between the boys and my 4 yr old niece I have plenty of
little helpers for Aunt Jenn.
            I have decided there is a plus side. It has been a struggle being
non-weight bearing for so very long. I have been using crutches, a front wheeled
walker and a wheelchair. Crutches are not easy, nor fun. In a word, exhausting!
The walker is not much easier. The wheelchair is easier but cumbersome to use.
It's easy to get around in if you live in a place free of stairs, wide open
spaces and made specifically for someone who is 3 feet tall. But I got really
good at making that chair fly. I can roll the fastest at work on the linoleum
floors. Patients were even calling me speedy Gonzales. J
            I even started school in my wheels. Yup, I finally put my money
where my mouth is and started back to school at NMC this semester. For a short
time I was given the go ahead to start walking. And after 3 wks of rolling into
the classroom in a wheelchair, I walked in. I tried to get there early so I
could test the waters. By that I mean, see if I fit into a desk. Of course this
was an emotional thought. What if I don't? What if a lot of people can see me
try and not fit? And worst of all, What if I get, dare I say, get stuck?!
That was not the case. I fit! I fit! I fit in a regular desk at the local
college. Even better, I have room between me and my desktop!
            There is a light at the end of the tunnel at least. I had a screw
put into the broken bone on Fri Oct 1st. It was time to do something. It has
been 2 months and it was only 25% healed. I can't wait to get upright again. I
guess my arms are will continue to get stronger until then. Even though I am
supposed to still be staying off my foot, I did walk into class again today.
It's hard to go back to the chair. I have been good other than that though.

Hopefully when I see Dr K next week I will get a fill. It's been so
long because after I broke my foot I had a lot of problems with food. It turns
out; it's not so easy to eat when you are sitting all the time. Your stomach is
scrunched up more than usual, and the water retention sucks. Not really a good
mix with a lap band in place.

So until next time, I will do my best to keep on track and stay positive.
Until next time
~Princess Jenn~

Attitude is everything!

2010-06-14T18:43:00.001-04:00

Hi there!
So the past few months I have not been doing a whole lot of work on this blog. But I have been working on something a lot more important. Of course, really keeping this blog is important for many reasons. Mainly that even if nobody ever reads it, I know that I have put my thoughts and feelings out there not only for someone going through the same journey but I have them for myself to look back on.
But I’m jumping around. Which is totally like me and unlike me. I have a friend who constantly changes subjects in the middle of a conversation and expects me to know what she’s talking about. Really, I think she’s testing me to make sure I’m paying attention. (Yes, I mean you Sharon J). I do pretty well at keeping up to what she is referring to if I say so myself. I think it comes from having a good memory.
So the work I’ve been doing that’s more important than this blog? Being fabulous! Like the title of this blog is attitude, that’s what I have been working on. Besides being at my job that pays me. Which, had my attitude not been better these days, I would NOT be able to handle the extra hours & work that have come my way!
With loosing weight I have gained so much. Mainly the best thing is a better attitude. And that goes along with the other thing I have been working on. Living life. I have some quotes that keep popping into my head like a bad pop song in the middle of a long day.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it” – Charles Swindoll

And another one I love that I hear frequently at work (I work on a Physical Rehab Unit)

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude” – Scott Hamilton

Just like I have made the decision to not exercise, not eat right in the past. I am trying to make a conscience effort to live by the 1st quote. What a difference it makes. Lately, to say the least, my life has been crazy! From living arrangements, to being a full time aunt (see living arrangements lol) to work and oh, yeah this horrible pain I have been having. Which I will know more about after I see Dr K. tomorrow and see the results of my HIDA Scan that was done last week. We’re thinking my gallbladder doesn’t like me anymore & it feels it shouldn’t have to work right anymore. Time will tell, maybe it will need to come out. But hey, then I would get a nice paid for vacation during the summer. Like I said, how you react to it.
Another thing I have been thinking about is how over time people have often said things like “they didn’t talk to me when I was heavy and now that I’m thin I am worth their time. No way, don’t need them”. Well I know this because I always thought it would be that way. That my time would come and I could snub those who snubbed me! Then WHAM it hit me! I have a breakthrough thought. Oh a breakdown, who knows. I realize now that when I was at my heaviest I was also at my unhappiest. I wouldn’t have wanted to talk to me either! I was very UNAPPROACHABLE. I know this know.
Yes, there are those who saw my weight as the reason not to talk to or try to befriend me. But I should give others the benefit of the doubt and try to consider that maybe it wasn’t how I physically looked that turned them away but the way I presented myself to others. Another good point, they may not even recognize the new thinner, brighter, happier person you have become to who and what you used to be.
As usual, I have rambled on. It’s a good thing I’m typing this otherwise I could go on forever. Trust me, I can get fired up about this (and boy can I! lol )

Until next time from a lighter and happier
~Princess Jenn~

May 4th, 2010. { -100lbs }

2010-05-04T22:29:00.001-04:00

1st Movie since weight loss :)

2010-03-02T22:29:00.003-05:00

So it's been over a week since this happened but I went to see a movie. As someone who has been overweight I have always dreaded going to the movie theater. Lets not even give the thought about the price being a factor. But I gotta say, Holy Smokes!! I couldn't afford to go often anyway. It's a good thing I been to embarrassed to go for so long. I would be even poorer than I am now. Anyway, moving on. Well like I'm sure most overweight people have done in the same scenario is worry the experience to no end. How big are the seats, will there be enough room?, can I even fit in the seat?, If so will I be comfortable. Lets not even give the whole dating thing a shot here, because lets face it as someone who has been single for a while that opens up a whole can of worms about the not wanting to eat with someone I don't know and then worrying about not fitting comfortably in the seat at the theater. Because also as being overweight you don't want to even think about having to do anything physical, like walking to show the opposite sex just exactly how out of shape you really are when you winded going up a flight of stairs.
Again, moving on. this a positive post. So I met a co-worker for some resale shopping, lunch (kinda awkward cuz I can't really eat that much) and then a movie. Shutter Island.
Awesome, awesome, awesome!~ And the movie was good too. What a day! I made my way to the seat and did the whole, put the seat down 1st, so I could sit on the edge then slide back between the arm rests and not get stuck. I did not realize until after I had to get back up for something and when I sat back down I DIDNT have to slide between the arm rests. I fit in the seat! I fit comfortably in my seat. In fact, my seat was really roomy. I don't remember ever going to a movie and having a roomy seat. It wasn't very comfy in all aspects. I mean, I really never did have much of a butt and so I couldn't sit still without. So sorry to whomever sat behind me. I really don't mean to have to squirm, just cant help it :) What an amazing feeling. What a day it was. I am still not very comfortable in my own skin but I am getting closer. :)
But for now, I need to close. I am way beyond tired now. I have tons more to say but I truly should not be typing more tonight because I prefer for my my posts to make sense, lol

Until next time,
~Princess Jenn~

Progress Pictures { -83.25lbs }

2010-02-02T21:42:00.007-05:00

Feeling fantastic after my fill & losing lbs!

2010-01-30T13:51:00.001-05:00

This New Year is certainly off to a great start. I have been having much more of a life.
1st things first. We had out night at the great wolf lodge two weeks ago. My mother gets a room for the family and while the parents are partying away with her coworkers the rest of us get to go to the water park. Now this year was a little different since little Richaliyah BKA Chickadee came along. She was only 2 ½ months old. But we all took turns passing the baby around so sister Michelle and my 4 yr old niece Adrianna AKA Sassafras could play in the water as well.
Well last year my dad talked me into going down the waterslide. I was petrified at the thought of doing again. Also as someone who has been morbidly obese all her adult life didn’t think they would let me go alone, let alone both of us together. They did. The weight limit was 500lbs for this particular slide. My dad and I being a good 60 lbs over that combined was a little frightening to me. Then you add in my fear of heights. Boy o, boy! But those crazy lifeguards Okayed us to go down together. There was no way I way I was going by myself. I may be an independent gal but I can admit I’m a scaredy cat most of the time. This is was no exception. Now this is where being heavier does come in handy for those speed seekers out there. The heavier you are, the faster those tubes go. We made it down to the bottom of the slide in no time. I was fearful for that and grateful too. I wanted no part in that thing ever again. At least that’s what I’ve been told. I was reminded of this when my Dad and I were making our way up to the same exact water slide for the 3rd or 4th time at my request. He turned to me and said, “Where did you get your nerve all of a sudden?!” Then he reminded me that after our attempt the year before, I said never again would I go near that crazy thing again.
It’s amazing what loosing 80 lbs does for a girl’s confidence level. Now I didn’t jump right at the chance to go down again when my Sassafras asked me if I would go down the slide with her “Just you and me, k?” I know, I know, I sounded like a mean old aunt when I said maybe as I was hoping and praying she wouldn’t ask again and therefore I wouldn’t have to do it.
So on that fateful Sunday at the Great Wolf Lodge when my dad asked me if wanted to leave my nice comfy spot in the hot tub to climb 3 flights of stairs to go down a slide I was afraid of the year before I just said maybe. Then about an hr later it dawned on me. Wait a second you big chicken. You had Surgery to loose weigh and to gain a life. I figured what did I have to loose. And this time, with out combined weight loss since the previous year we were under the 500 lb weight limit to ride.
By the end of the day, I had made it down the waterslides a total of 8 times. (Which means I walked up 24 flights of stairs to make it down 8 times) I didn’t get up the nerve to go alone. I really wanted to but by the time I got my nerve up I had to get home to let my dog out. But I did go down with my niece just like she asked me to do! Ended up she was more scared than I was after we got to the bottom. Turns out with me on it versus her mother it was much faster.
I’m still afraid of heights and I still have lot of weight to lose but I gained a lot of nerve that day!
Until next time~Princess Jenn~

I ache so much, but I feel so good

2010-01-04T01:45:00.002-05:00

After working this last couple days all I really wanted to do was rest and enjoy my afternoon off. Go with a friend to a quick dinner (course with my band there is no longer is such a thing as a quick meal.) and get some shopping done for the week and hit the hot tub. Well I got 2 out of 3 done. The weather kinda put a damper on plans. Not that I mind driving in the snow. Ok, so now I am not nearly as fond of it some people. So rather that risk life and limb to soak in the hottub we made it home early. This also because I knew what awaited me at home with my parents out of town. Tons of snow (about a foot) still sitting in my driveway waiting for me to get home to get it done. Now it wasn’t so much the snow sitting in my driveway as the amount of hard packed snow sitting at the top of my driveway by the snowplow. This wouldn’t be a big deal if I had a nice level driveway. But of course, I have a driveway that goes downhill. So after the snow is done blowing and drifting, my driveway happens to look level. Ha!~
But again my concern was the snow packed by the plows at my approach. I probably could have (as my dad suggested) lined up with my driveway and plowed straight back into my yard and made it into the spot I normally park. Where you could still see evidence my car had once been parked 10 hrs earlier. I gave my options some thought with the resulting scenarios.
1) Back in as suggested by dad and get in just fine and unpack my purchases and head to a relaxing night as planned.
2) Back in as suggested by dad and risk getting stuck halfway into my driveway on the hard snowplowed snow in my approach. Spend hours shoveling heavy snow after from my car and still have to carry my purchases into the house immediately followed by collapsing on the couch (yet again!) with sheer exhaustion.
3) Park the ~Princess Mobile~ on the road for a while and start to shovel my driveway of my own freewill and remove the hard snowplowed snow before entering my yard.

As you can probably tell my my post title I did number 3. Plus doggone it I did more. After clearing out my approach by the road and making my way down to my porch and back twice with the shovel I decided to do a little bit more since I was already out there. I was already going to be sweaty and sore when I was done so why not make it worth it. And I did. I ended up getting so much done that I finished it! Nothing fancy, not nearly as wide as my driveway is without snow. But more than enough room for car and nearly the full length. I was able to accomplish something I don’t remember ever doing in the entire 7 years I’ve lived here. I was married the 1st winter, then after I got divorced my dad took over using a shovel or snowblower depending on the years (We are neighbors) and one winter a roommate/friend got the lovely job. Now don’t get me wrong, I have tried a few times over the years to do it myself. The first couple times I couldn’t do it. I am embarrassed to say it but I physically could not do it. That sucks when your in your early 20’s and can’t handle something like that. However, The last time I did try to shovel on my own. I got yelled at. It was a couple years ago and I felt bad because the snowblower had quit working. I took my cough medicine, bundled up like the kid in a “A Christmas Story”, stuffed my pockets with tons of tissues, and made my way outside. I was doing okay of a job. I got about 10 feet of my driveway done in probably a half hour. Okay, so my car was parked in that 10 feet area. But still I was on my way. Then I got to the point just beyond my trailer. Didn’t give it a second thought until my 2 minutes later my dad showed up. Took the shovel out of my hand and said to me “You need to get your butt inside. You don’t need to be out here doing this. Your already sick. Do you want to catch an pneumonia?” At least that’s how I remember it, the details are kinda fuzzy. I was on medication. J
That was it, my snow shoveling experience. And even this time as I answered about all the snow we had gotten I was still being told to not met with it. If my dad had his way I would have had my driveway plowed. But a girls gotta go what a girls gotta do. So I did.

My big point to all this? That I did it!! I was able to physically get the job done. I could not have been able to accomplish this before I lost weight. The Hottub is really calling my name now. But it will be so much more worth it.

What I found when I made it back into the house is a whole separate post.
Until next time
~Princess Jenn~

New Year starting with a fill.

2010-01-02T14:46:00.003-05:00

So I put off doing this post for a while. This past Tues (12/29) I seen Dr K. That was 3 weeks after my last appt. I was so nervous about this appt. I had lost a few pounds at my appt on Dec 8th after like 7 weeks. But this time I only had 3 weeks. Well Princess Jenn did better. I went back with a 5 pound loss.
After the last few appts not wanting a fill. I was ready. We held off because of all the issues I had been having with my restriction being too much or not enough. I got a .2cc fill. Now I'm up to 4.4cc. Woohoo! And so far so good. I feel good. i am able to tolerate food and less of it.

I guess one thing that bears mentioning. I feel hopeful for this new year and what it holds.
But now I gotta go. Time to clock out of work.
Until next time.
~ Princess Jenn ~

S-T-R-E-S-S!!

2009-11-23T13:57:00.000-05:00

Lately my scale has been back and forth in the same 2-4# range for the last couple months. I’d be lying if it was just a normal plateau. I know that I haven’t been good about my exercise lately. That and I have my days where I don’t even care what I eat or don’t eat (like protein). Usually its after I have a bad food day. Those are those days where it seems like nothing goes down easily at all. No matter what it is, or how healthy it is. So there’s that part of my stalled scale.

And the other major factor to this lack of loosing? Stress
Why yes, it wouldn’t be my life if I have no stress. I honestly don’t think I would know how to function in a stress free lifestyle. But of course, we all know that is not going to happen in this lifetime or another. Even when I went for my last appt with Dr K. he told me all about stress and how it affects weight loss. Then told me go get my stress under control. I have been trying to do for sometime now. But with the holidays, winter bills starting and the new additions to my household since my sister and 2 nieces moved in with me its been harder this time around. Anyway, I digress.

Now I would be lying if I haven’t gone back and forth on the whole gaining faith, loosing faith, giving up and feeling like I’ve just been jumpstarted with a car battery with motivation. Unfortunately those jumpstarts of motivation usually happen as I am finally getting tucked nice into bed around midnight and have to be up by 6am for work the next day. Not the most opportune time to hitting the gym if I do say so myself.

But as much as I want to just give up those are the times I go back to “Before” picture. Wow, what a motivator! I never want to be that size/weight ever again. And as these holidays come quickly upon us, I will keep that image in the back of my mind to pull out as I think about reaching for something yummy and decadent off the desert table. Not saying that will stop me completely but it will remind me to take much less that I would have before surgery.

For now I better get back to work.
~ Princess Jenn ~

One year out, Baby

2009-10-08T23:10:00.002-04:00

This is going to short, snappy and too the point. Since I have been a little, ok a lot, behind when I want to do an awesome all inclusive post.
Basically, I made it thru my 1st year. I'm not down as much as I had hoped and planned to be. Mostly my own fault for not being good enough with the exercise and right food choices from time to time. Then you add in all the time I lost after that damn deer accident. Then after lots and lots of patience, prayers and tears we got a good consistent amount of restriction and then scales started to move in the right (left actually) direction.
At my 1 yr post-op appt. with Dr. K. He said so far he was happy with how status considering the difficulties with the right amount of restriction for me. That made me feel so much better.
Since I was down 11lbs from appt. from 6 weeks prior we agreed to stay at the 4.2cc restriction. Why mess with a good thing? No point in adding in .10-.20cc to have to go back and take .5-1cc back out because it was too tight and causing problems.

Anyway,
this is plenty long enough! The nice hotel bed is looking warm and inviting behind me! 14 hours on a bus to get to Bloomington, MN. I can turn to my right and look out our hotel room window and see the Mall of America. Our destination! So I'm going to go rest and get ready for the days ahead. Though I must admit, it will be hard to sleep without my big ole black lab right next to me. But somehow I think I will manage. *_*

Until Next Time ~Princess Jenn~

Better late, than never!

2009-08-23T22:15:00.020-04:00

So this is no where near my best picture. It was at Cracker Barrel (as usual) after a 2 mile walk and a big meal. For me it was a big meal.

Sept 23rd, 2009 - 2 days b4 surg. _____Aug 18th, 2009 (-60lbs)
Shirt size - 5X (& snug) ________Shirt size - 3X (feelin' loose)

I've been waiting on this picture for a while because of the fluctuation in my weight. It finally feels like I am really starting to lose again. I've lost off and on for the past few months but it is all been the same weight over and over again.

Now I am at a restriction that I feel comfortable with. There are plenty of foods that are hard to tolerate but then there are things I can do without a problem.
But now I need to get to bed. I'll get a better picture. Who knows it could be my One year pic. It is coming up quickly!!

Until next time! ~Princess Jenn~

Doing pretty good since my 7/7 fill!

2009-07-18T05:33:00.005-04:00

I am finally getting something posted. I've started to do a post like a hundred times it seems but I just haven't been able to get it done. I have all these ideas of thing I want to say but by the time I make it to my computer, my mind goes blank. Like for instance, I am at work right now. I have been here since 11pm and I'm just working on this post now six hours later. I'm still not even sure in what direction this post is headed. lol.

I did make it to cherry festival and shared a corn dog with my dad. I wanted the whole thing to myself but I couldn't eat it all. (In reality I probably could have eaten the whole thing had I eaten slower, still working on getting better at that) That was on Sunday. I didn't get my fill until Tuesday. Now before surgery I could have eaten at least 2 and still have room for more. Since my fill I have been trying to watch my protein intake and getting my fluids in. I'm not doing so hot on the fluids. But I am getting better about my food choices. I have to be with what I can eat. A girl can't afford to waste what little bit of room she has on something that isn't worth it.

So it has been a little over a week since my last fill. To say it was a good visit would be a lie. I gained another 4lbs! Of course the tops scale didn't reflect the same thing that night. But it was still a gain there too. Which considering that I had been sick for so long, it could have been much worse. But now I am hoping to start back on the losers path.

Anyway, I left with .25cc more in my band than I went in with. I'm up to 4.0cc's. Yippeeee. I am at that point where my band can end up being too tight or feeling no restriction. Since I was too tight at 4.5cc, Dr K said from now on I will get fill's .10cc at a time. Yes, that's right, a tenth of a cc at a time. Dr K told me not to get discouraged since I am almost a yr out from surgery & haven't lost as much as I should/could and that people sometimes start to think "I could have just dieted to get here"

Well yes and no. I definitely feel defeated more days lately than I feel like this has been a success. But then I try to stop and remind myself how long of a journey this has been. (Boy there are days I have to really remind myself how far I've come. 50-60lbs is better than gaining or not still being at my heaviest.) . I have to look at all the obstacles I've had to face since my surgery in September. I know that I went 3 whole months without a fill in my band because of my 2nd surgery.

Anyway, I better close for now. I am starting to get tired. Which isn't a good thing. I've been here at work sitting as a safety companion since 11pm. (Why I volunteered I'm not really sure at this point!) I have 9 more hours to go. At least I get to go do my "real" job for the last 8 of them. Sucks to be me at this point in time. It better be worth it come payday!

I need to wrap this up for now. I need to get my books and stuff together to start my real job as mentioned above. It will be 7am before I know it. I hope the same can be true for 3pm :)
Until next time,
~Princess Jenn~

Picture from my ID badge at work.

2009-07-03T17:50:00.001-04:00

The other day a coworker mentioned to me that I really needed a new name badge. Now being not totally on top of things I looked at my nametag to double check that I hadn't broken it.

Obviously, what he meant was that the picture no longer looks like me. At the time I didn't think I looked too bad in it. Now of course, after looking at it I loathe it! But yet, I still love it. It is a nice straight picture of my face, that very clearly shows off my many chins I had that never really noticed! Since then I have been checking my nametag daily to remind myself that even though I am having one of those awful days where I feel like I'm bigger than I was before surgery,I am on the right track.

Jennifer

Healthier & Happier days from here on in!

2009-07-02T23:25:00.005-04:00

Here are some quick thoughts before I head to bed! I have been so bad about posting (and weight loss) lately. But I promise I haven't been going all hog wild this whole time. Maybe a little bit here and there but nothing too bad :)
For anyone who has talked to me over the last 2 months knows I had been sicker than a dog for what seemed like forever. I was sick with bronchitis/sinus infection for over 6 weeks! Its pretty bad when you walk into the pharmacy and they say "Hi Jennifer, it'll be ready in just a few minutes. When I seen your name come up I knew you would be right in." That was the 3rd time I have been to the Munson Pharmacy in a months time. Its a good thing I can use my name tag to pay for all that antibiotics and everything else they put me on to get me better. And it's about time too.
I knew something wasn't right when after losing 50-60lbs (depending on the weeks weigh in) I was more tired going up 1 flight of stairs than I would have been going up 2 pre-surgery. I hope that made sense. It does in my head. Of course it is past my bedtime.

I just can't say enough how great today was. It was a crazy, busy day that kept going and going and didn't seem like it would ever end. But after being sick and overwhelmed with everything from money (lack of) to bills (an over abundance of) to housework (an never ending job) today felt like reassurance that I can handle this life and journey that I'm on and come out better than I had hoped. Now come tomorrow, I probably won't be so optimistic. But for now I am going to savor this.

Also, I am enjoying just being Jennifer. Actually, that Princess Jennifer to you. While I was at my worst, I had my 3 1/2 year old niece Adrianna. That lil snot is a busy bee. I'm lucky I survived. Thanks in a major way due to Sharon. She helped by babysitting Adrianna while I was at work for 3 very long 12 hour days. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Sharon. Not long after Adrianna went home, my nephews came to visit. Alex & Flipper aka Phillip. Those busy boys, 6 1/2 and 5 respectively, were here for 6 whole days. Them boys got to see go to Aunt Sharon's too.
Now I love all 3 of them little cuties to pieces but once I got my bed back, It was amazing! I slept like I hadn't in months. I had finally quit coughing and was on the road to feeling better. Which is partly why I chose to have surgery in the 1st place. Even as sick as I had been during the time the short people were here, it was so much easier than it was last year when I was at my heaviest. I take pride in being the cool, fun aunt who gets on the floor to play with the kids, the aunt that takes them to the beach and throws and chases them in the swimming pool.
This is way too long but oh well. I am now too tired to bother cutting it down. I'll just consider it making up for my silence since May.

Until next time ~ Princess Jenn

Lift what you lost at MI TOPS SRD May 2009

2009-05-28T22:35:00.002-04:00

So a couple weekends ago I went to the TOPS MI SRD (State Recognition Days) in Port Huron. Along with all the big (weight) losers they had an awesome motivation speaker by the name of Jodi Davis. She lost 162lbs. Now that is motivational.

They also had booth where you lift what you've lost, in pounds. In the above picture I am holding 46lbs. See that look on my face. That is from the burden of holding that 46lbs of food for like 2 mins. Man, oh man, I don't know how I carried it all the time. Also, at the time of this photo I was actually down 55lbs! It was 9lbs less than what I had lost. After a minute of holding that weight I not only was it awkward standing there with that amount of weight but I started to feel warm and my back started to hurt right away.

Anyway, for now I should go. I will be posting later on tonight or tom about my latest fill. Yuppers! I got another fill.

~Princess Jenn~

Making strides! :)

2009-05-19T22:24:00.001-04:00

So I need to be better about posting. I have had so many milestones lately. First off my last fill went very well! No more fills in the procedure room anymore *crosses fingers*

I have been starting to lose again since my fill on April 28th and cloths are starting to get loose again. I tried on a couple shirts last week or so at Meijer. Sharon wanted to look at cloths so I thought “what the heck, what have I got to lose just trying on a top or 2” well I fell in love this really pretty top. They only had 1. Well I tried it on anyway over top of my shift I was wearing. The shirt I was wearing when I went into the store was a 5X and the shirt I tried on was only a 3X. It fits beautifully! I love it. I also tried on a 2X too. I figure I would just see. The 2X fit! It wasn’t anything I felt comfortable enough to wear in public but it felt good. It felt pretty good. I hugged my curves more than I liked but if it was not uncomfortable. Anyway back to awesome 3X, since Meijer had a rack of tops on sale buy one get one half off. Sharon and I each got a top and split the price. So we each saved like 5 bucks. Anyway, I wore it this last weekend to our Tops SRD (State Recognition Days) on Saturday even though at first I didn’t feel that comfortable in it. Then on Sunday I wore the 5X top (the shirt I am wearing in all my progress pics) and I felt so sloppy and just gross because it just didn’t feel comfortable anymore. So that shirt is going into my cloths bin to keep for a later time to see what I used to wear. Plus I will have that to keep for the “Before and After” parade next year at SRD. Each year, as long as you maintain a 50# weight loss you can walk across the stage and hold up what size you used to wear and then show how you look currently. What an inspiration seeing all those people come out from behind their own cloths so much trimmer and HEALTHIER.

Anyway, I guess my main point to this post tonight. (I apologize I am still not really awake yet from the weekend, lol.) I am more motivated than ever! After seeing those weight loss winners walk across stage was so inspiring. There was gal, our Michigan state Queen, she lost 179.25#. I would love to loose that much. It gives me a feeling that if she can loose that amount of weight on her own, without weight loss surgery, then there is no reason that I can’t loose that much with my lap band. Also, our motivation speaker, Jodi Davis (walkytalk.com) lost 162 lbs! Oh my goodness, how can a person, without having to be a tops member not being inspired by those numbers. Each day I get more and more motivated.

Every time I started to feel down or negative I take myself back to that Meijer store. Back to that moment when I tried on shirt 3 sizes smaller that actually fit.

Until then I am off to try to get some good sleep. I am hoping to make it to the park tomorrow for a nice long walk. HAHA. I’ll see how tom goes.

~Princess Jenn~

2009-05-05T09:49:00.001-04:00

Here is a post I actually did last week but somehow got put off adding until now :)
I got a fill this past tuesday. (April 28th) Which is about time since I have spent most of time since surgery with what feels like no restriction. After I finally got a fill on March 3rd I thought things would start going in the right direction with my weight. The right direction being down. That did happen for 3 weeks. Only because I couldn't keep anything down! I tried staying on the graduated diet like right after surgery, but even then anything more than a 2 bites and it didnt stay down. Plus it hurt like hell. The pressure I felt after a bite went all way thru to my back. Felt like someone was pushing me earlly hard, or a I had a my 6 1/2 yr old nephew standing there. Even if food did stay down I was still starving all the time. Which defeats the purpose of having this band in the first place. Anyway, by week 3 I was still not keeping really anything down and dropped 16lbs. So back the doctor went. Then for an esophogram. My band was way too tight. A drinkof barium took 30-40 seconds from the time it got to where my band is located to actually pass thru it. Yes, it is supposed to take longer for food to go thru, that how you stay feeling full longer. However this was liquid. Water made feel sick and full too. Anyway, next thing I knew I was scheduled to go back to the procedure room to get an "unfill". So on march 27, I went in and got 2.5cc of my 5cc from my band taken out. I was so bummed that so much had to come out. I had only gotten a fill of 1.5cc when i went in on the 3rd. And I knew that my next fill would be a wait away again. Along with the the pain and discomfort of a band being too tight thre is a high risk of the band slipping. I'm not really sure about the reason behind this. I think one risk is constantly having to be sick can move band.

Needless to say, I put back on those 16lbs very easily. With only 2.5cc in my band I felt no restriction. Plus I managed to get my nephews during that time. Do you know what kind of foods kids eat? Yummy junk food of course! But now it's all gone. So no more temptations.

Now this last fill I got was in the procedure room but this time no fluoro! As usual Dr K. gave it a try without the xray on and it worked. He actually found the port and accessed it pretty quickly. I was so happy when he said "we're in. cancel xray" also that I should call and get my next fill scheduled in the office for 4 weeks. Then I even got a high five! I know both of us were so happy about that.

I am going to wrap this up for now. Wish me luck. It's been 2 days since my fill and so far so good. I feel pretty good.

Progress! Finally :)

2009-03-10T22:28:00.000-04:00

Sept 23 - 2 Days before surgery// Mar 10 (-53lbs from highest!)

So tonight was tops as usual. Followed by dinner at our usual (Cracker Barrel). Last Tuesday I couldn't even keep down sips of coffee. I was able to keep down some tomato soup here and there since then. Well today at work I decided to try some mashed potatoes. It stayed down! What a good feeling. But it got even better at dinner. I shared a dinner with my dad. I had chicken & more taters. That stayed down. I feel pretty good even. I have a little bit of pain in my back but it is nothing like the pressure I have/had when I have tried before. This is more along the lines of being from being full. I realize that sounds ironic that I was happy to be able to eat and keep it down. Well, this is the first real food I have been able to eat and KEEP down since my fill on 3/3/09. After everything that has happened since my banding (flipped port, seroma, infected incision, blister on my incision, 2 failed attempts at fills since Dec surgery) I was very, very concerned that with my luck, that my band had slipped. The feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. My luck has been lately, if something is going to happen it's going to happen to me.

Yes, I am trying to be more positive. Having my most recent fill has helped my morale.

Signing off, working on being more healthy and positive :)

~Jennifer~

Finally got a fill!

2009-03-09T22:07:00.000-04:00

So my last post was hoping I was going to get a fill at my appt on 2/19. Well that didn't happen. I had to wait 2 more weeks before I could get it. After several (7-8) attempts in the office, I was scheduled for the procedure room at munson on 3/3 on my day off. I spend way too much time at that place.
I made it to my appt, and left with 1.5cc more in my band than I went in with. It was about time.
Unfortunately, it hasn't been all rosy and fun since then. I feel like I have been the same staged diet that I was on after surgery. At least now I can keep down clear and full liquids. For the day and a half that followed my fill I didn't keep anything down.
I was so freaked out that by thursday morning I had an appt scheduled with Dr K. To say I was more than a little worried that my band may have slipped is putting it mildly! I figured with my luck it was bound to happen. By the time my appt came I was able to keep down coffee, juice, milk and even a half a container of yogurt. We decided to hold off on trying to take anything out of my band. My next adjustment is scheduled for 3/31 in the procedure room again. I'm just trying to stay positive until then. I haven't eat, sorry, drank much of anything this last week. I'm sure I will have a loss tomorrow at tops. It better be worth it. Cuz man I would do just about anything at this point to be able to eat a steak! Well anything that is more filling than apple juice and Popsicles. Even a protein shake sounds good. Now that's bad. Maybe tomorrow will be easier. There's me trying to be positive. Are you convinced? Me either.
I am looking forward to scrapbooking thou. Less than 2 weeks to go. I am going to try to get another updated photo. I am so close to being officially down 50lbs. Now after all this I am ready to get back to work. Nothing worse than having too much time on your hands to know exactly how miserable you feel. See, I am really am a ray of sunshine!

Until next time
~Jennifer~

Wish me luck for my Dr K. appt (fill?) on 2/19

2009-02-18T23:16:00.000-05:00

So just one last thought before I tuck myself into bed.

Wish me luck as I see Dr. K. tom. My last appt, he tried to do a "fill" but with all the swelling from seroma & the incision site being open we couldn't do it.

I have Jello made & packed with some juice for my lunch/dinner after my appt tom. Since after a fill, its clear liquids for the rest of the day.

I will say another pray before bed hope for the best. I'm ready to start on a long loosing streak!

~Princess Jenn~

So much to do, so little free time

2009-02-18T23:14:00.000-05:00

So I admit I have not been as good about this blog as I intended to be. It’s been a long couple of weeks.
Well first things first. My incision is so close to being healed up. It’s only about the size of the tip of a q-tip. I’m getting anxious, ok, been there a while. I want to go to water aerobics so bad. I’ve had my enrollment & payment slip ready since Dec. I was about to start when I found out I had to have surgery in the first place.

My weight has been pretty much staying still. What I gained while I was sick, I took back off. It didn’t seem fair, I still felt like I was at my lower weight, but the scale said otherwise. All that coughing had to have burned some calories. But I’m moving on.

At tops, I got a new job. I am now the weight recorder. My very 1st night, I had 2 new ppl that joined. Talk about jumping in with both feets.

As far as everything else goes, aka my mental status, motivation, slips and like. I am doing okay. I have pretty much stay on an even stride with my motivation. I have a few of my before photo’s pinned, taped and hanging up in my home. On the bathroom mirror, on my nightstand, in my purse, by the tv and of course on on the fridge. This keeps me in check. Plus I have learned if I don’t deny myself. If I have “goodies” in the house, I can have a little and be satisfied. Where as, if I tell myself its off limits, it drives me nuts that I cannot have it.

Then last week a coworker from the hospital has lapband surgery too. Even though its a guy (and they naturally loose faster) I don’t feel like I am as alone in the journey. I have people of support at the tip of my fingers, it feels different now that its someone I have known for a while who is going thru this whole deal too. I will be able to see his success, where as I can’t always see mine. I feel how my cloths fit, and home much better I feel already.

My scrapbook keeps me motivated too. I can see my timeline, and the letter I wrote to myself that I have at the beginning of my book and see why I made the decision in the first place.

I will be seeing my sisters and niece and nephews soon. I have seen my oldest sister Michelle most recently in January. But my other sister, Amy, I am curious if she will be able to tell when she sees me. I haven’t seen her since the end of Nov. I am excited to see them regardless of whether or not they can tell. But I have lost like 25-30 more since I have seen Amy.

Now it’s getting to be past when I should have been in bed. So many things to do in such a short time, I don’t know how I get anything done during the work week. I like my long weekends, but these 12 hour days don’t leave much time for getting much done before you have to get ready to start the whole routine all over again the next day. I will be making exercise fit in there somehow. The warm pool for water aerobics sounds so good right about now.
Until then I am headed to bed! :)
As always,
~Princess Jenn~

Weekly weigh in: ( -7.75lbs )

2009-01-20T22:38:00.000-05:00

I got my weight loss I wanted/needed so badly tonight. This has not been my best week at all. Unlike, last week when I was looking forward to weighing in at tops and then the meeting was cancelled. I was motivated, excited and ready for the new year as a bandster. Not so much this week. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy with my weight loss and having my band. I am just having issues.
It seems like if it isn't one thing, it is another. I am trying my best to take each day as it comes and make the best choices I can while trying and stay positive.
I know this is short but I really am not sure what I want to say and how to say it. I have had a migraine for a week & I'm ready for bed. I need to get myself into bed.
So until next time.
~ Jennifer ~

Back to Work = Exhaustion!

2009-01-14T18:40:00.000-05:00

After 2 weeks of being bored out of my mind at home I got to go back to work. All the while being told, "take it easy" and "don't do to much". Well of course, I didn't because I as not nearly up for anything. With the pain and (yuck!) draining I didnt get much done in or outside of my home.

Now most people kind of ease back into work and try not to overdo it the 1st week back. Not me! I came back to work in full force. It's too much to get into by my 5 day stretch then 2 more days then 4 days off turned into 8 days in a row (with 6 days being 10-12 hrs a piece). I got home from work on Thursday night and I was so tired I fell asleep on the couch before grey's anatomy! I pulled myself off the couch at 6am long enough to let the dog out and feed the vicious guard cats before falling into my real bed. It was so nice and comfy. My dog was so good and stayed by my side as I slept the day away from sheer exhaustion. I'm surprised the poor dog still likes me since as I write this I am back to work after my not-nearly-long-enough weekend to work some more.

I took it easy, as I am still healing, that was until my sister called and said she was coming to visit. To be honest I did as little as possible since surgery since I didn't dare do anymore damage to my poor body. Well that didn't work. Apparently bending over to sweep & mop, oh yeah and litter boxes was not a good idea! I was so doggone tired & sore that when my sister called to tell me she had to turn around due to car problems I was a little relieved. Don't get me wrong,I LOVE my sister and niece deerly but it's hard enough to try to rest & heal without others around. My little button Adrianna, is so big and I knew I wouldnt be able to lift her. Ya know those times I have had to get her off the counter cuz she chased the cats up there and wanted to be near them. Duh! What better place to be near them than by their food dish! Plus there is the whole swimming issue. I can't swim with my incision still open. I miss that hot tub so much! I am way overdue for that hot tub on my back.

I didn't get to weigh in at tops on Tuesday but because of the weather it was cancelled. I would have happily weighed in anyway but no one else would have been there. And after getting a flat tire on the way to work I really couldn't anything short of a 5lbs loss. lol. So I will update after next weigh in.

But until next time!.
~ Princess Jenn ~

Back to work / Weekly weigh in: (-8lbs) YAY!!

2008-12-31T02:06:00.003-05:00

So this is late coming since I’ve had the last 2 weeks off. But oh well, at least I got a lot of rest, done tons of reading, stayed at the “sitter’s again, been to ER again, started sorting my pictures and oh yeah, lots of practice putting pressure dressings on my incision! When this is over with, if I never see a roll of medical tape and gauze sponges ever again it will be too soon. Unlike the 1st surgery, this time I developed a seroma. After I started bleeding in Outpatient Surgery, extra blood (a lot of it too) decided to hang out in the extra tissue (from being overweight) until it was ready to come out. Of course, I didn’t know this would/could happen till after I made a visit to the ER when I couldn’t get the bleeding to stop even after putting pressure on the incision. It has been draining ever since. Then since it was still open and draining still, they wouldn’t let me go back to work until now since I work in a hospital. Ironically, Jim from work said “How long you gonna milk this one for?” as far as my time off. I think I might just say it’s his fault I wasn’t back sooner. Ok, maybe not. But I will say, Damn Deer!

Today was a good day back at work, long, but good. It was nice being back. It was good having a reason to get up in the morning. Not so early would have been nice of course.

The best part of the day? I have to say when I weighed in at tops. I came in with an 8lb loss for the last 2 weeks. I was so afraid I was going to gain again. I missed the weigh in last week because I really wasn’t feeling up to going or nearly awake enough. The week before that, and the day after surgery, I gained 4 ¼ lbs. either way, I am happy I got my last weight for 2008. So from my highest weight this year - I am ending the year with a 37.5lb loss!

I am looking forward to working toward & meeting the new, smaller Princess Jenn in 2009!

Until next time –
~ Jennifer ~

Healing

2008-12-20T02:26:00.000-05:00

Hi All,
I am up and awake still even though it will be pushing 3am by the time I get my butt into bed. I imagine that will be coming up soon since I gave in and took my pain medicine. I have been trying to stay away from it but today I certainly over did it a little bit with litter boxes tonight. But a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

Anyway, I'm still healing. Slowly, but surely! I still feel like I have been carved up like a turkey and I have a bruise the size of a dvd case to prove it. My incision is looking good. Ironically the bruise is surrounding my incision and not over top of it. Thank goodness! I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how & when it will ever finish healing. I am starting to wonder like my dad if it will burst open. My poor dad asked my mother, the nurse, what could happen to my incision after I had the incident in the hospital (before discharge with the bleeding). My mother calmly told him that it would just bleed out. His concern was that I wouldn't wake up. Mine was that I would ruin my friends sheets & bed. Now I worry about my favorite comforter and not wanting to have to miss anymore work. I feel so bad as it is. I seen a coworker tonight when I went with my dad to get my mom from work (so I could get my prescription filled). He made sure to tell me that I was missed today on Rehab. Apparently just like when I had surgery last time, it has been nothing short of crazy there. Seems to me like I picked a good time to be off. :)

Well I have rambled on enough. This pain med is making it hard to stay awake again. Besides, my puppy dog needs outside and I need to get us tucked into bed before I fall asleep on the couch again! lol
Until next time,
Princess Jenn

Post surgery- back at the babysitters!

2008-12-15T21:41:00.000-05:00

So I made it thru the surgery. So much for going home to my own bed to sleep it off. Because of the anesthesia and the whole stupid sleep apnea thing I am not to be alone tonight. So while I was still in recovery, Sharon drew the short straw and here I am.

Damn Deer!! My port had to be moved over about 2 inches because where my port was before didn't have enough stable tissue left after the sutures were ripped out. Again, Damn Deer! I also got my fill that I was supposed to get last week. He put in another 1.5cc's. That puts me at 3.5cc's now.

And would it be my story if something didn't go wrong?! I think not. I made it without any problems until I got to the 2nd recovery room. They took me to the 2nd floor for surgery, then to recovery then back down to outpatient surgery before I was able to go home. While I was relaxing and making out a list of the things I needed since I wasn't going to go home, I felt something on my hand. I thought maybe I had spilled some of my yummy liquid pain medicine. Nope, of course not! I was bleeding! Boy was I bleeding. I soaked my gown and 2 blankets. So my dad had to leave the room while they put pressure on my wound and cut my gown off me. Do I know how to get attention or what? lol. The doc was paged and he wasn't worried. But they still kept me about 45 minutes longer until they felt better about setting me free.

Here I am, tucked in nicely at my very good friend Sharon's house. My dad was nice enough to bring me some very important things, puter, blankets, cloths, toothbrush & toothpaste. Plus my mom bought me some juice and chai tea latte and ice cream. Yes, I am going to at least get some good stuff while I am on a full liquid diet until Wednesday.

My poor dog is gonna be so mad at me thou. But it's probably better since she would be trying to sit on my lap if I were home. But I can spend tom night with her since I get out of work tomorrow. I didn't want to have to miss work anymore. This a big ole pain in the A$$. My mother even says that if anything bad is going to happen, it will happen to me.

I am getting a little drowsy now. That liquid pain stuff knocks me on my butt.

Until next time, I'll keep on going trying not to go crazy. I can just imagine Jim thinking I am already there. Hopefully tomorrow's tops weigh in goes well. Wish me luck, I am certainly going to need it.
PS if I miss spell anything that's missing a letter G forgive me, that letter sticks.

Princess Jenn

Flipped Port - Surgery Monday

2008-12-14T16:14:00.000-05:00

I said it before and I'll say it again, Damn Deer!!
I went for my 2nd fill this past thursday and it didn't go so well. My port is deep down but my 1st fill went pretty good considering it was the 1st time, finding it and all.
I did mention the "deer incident" when I got there. Partly because I was worried about it and wanted re-assurance that it didn't bother my band. Even though they assured me in the ER it was fine. Plus since I haven't been as good with the exercise since I sprained my neck. I haven't been able to get comfortable at night, let alone doing that much exercise.
Well after about 15 mins, which felt like forever, he said he wanted to send me for an xray. He (and I ) knew that he was on top of my port with the needle. Where the needle should have been going into the port, it sounded like metal on metal. Then he said it, my port might have flipped.

So I asked how that could have happened, and how to fix it. His answer, when the seatbelt restrained me, it pulled on my sutures holding my port in place and if it was in fact flipped, it would need to be fixed surgically. Outpatient surgery, but surgery.

Tomorrow is the day. I have a 3pm surgery time. I have to be there at 1pm. After 2 more showers with that stupid soap I can't stand. But oh well. I most likely will get my next fill with my repair tomorrow. So I won't be behind that far with my next fill.
Until next time, I will be trying not to go crazy.

Jennifer

Fill updates

2008-12-01T18:11:00.000-05:00

I guess I should also do an update about my weightloss and surgery stuff. So here goes.

The other week I was starting to get worried about how my band in place. There were about 3-4 days I was getting sick 1 or 2 times a day. I had been very careful to take small bites and chew really well and take my time with meals. Well I was still getting sick. I knew the band hadn't slipped because I was able to keep things down and it was at weird times when I was getting sick. It was always around the same time of day. Then I realized how bad my skin itched at that same time of day. Turns out I had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic they put me of my sinus infection. So now I am still on an antibiotics for same sinus infection that I had back before my car accident.

I did have a bad experience with lettuce on a hamburger. The lettuce got soft and wilted and blocked off my stomach until I was able to get it outta there if you know what I mean. Since then, I have had mainly good days. I know that there are things I am able to tolerate now that won't go so well after my next fill.

Just like there are days I can eat more than others. And some things go down easily 1 day and not so easily the next. Each day is a new experience.

My next fill was scheduled for this coming Thursday Dec 4th. But I changed my appt since I am going to a big Christmas party on Sat downstate. It wasn't that I was wanting to eat more or anything like that. Ok, I want to be able to drunk off my A$$ without being sick. Not really, but it sounds good. But that I didn't want to risk being/getting sick in front of all those people or in the host/hostess' really nice house. Plus, with my luck I could just imagine having major problems while being that far from home. My next fill is now scheduled for Dec11th. Then I have the next 4 days off so I can see how I tolerate food and take my time eating and be in the privacy of my own home.

So I think I have rambled enough. I hope this enough detail. A friend, Sharon, said I haven't been using enough detail and that my last post, the one about my car, was one really long sentence.

Tomorrow night is tops so I will do an update since I will be weighing in tom. I didnt do an update last week because I skipped the meeting. Yes, I know I should have weighed in but I was on major doses of benadryl to keep me scratching my skin off. I'm still rambling. sorry.

Until next time.
Princess Jenn

Yes, I am still alive & kicking & screaming!

2008-12-01T17:31:00.000-05:00

So I am a little behind doing a post. Ok, so I am really late in posting.

For those of you who know me well, you know that my life is crazy & full of drama. Well these past few weeks has been no exception. It all started when my sister came to visit with my very busy 3 year old niece Adrianna. It was having company but I have lived alone for 4 years and learned to love it. My niece Adrianna is a little nosypants. She was into everything! She loves cats, and I have cats. Unfortunately, my cats don't love her. By the grace of God, she only got scratched a few times. I have this one cat, Oliver, he is a big orange and white cat that weighs like 20lbs. He reminds of one of my friend Sharon's cats cuz he looks like he swallowed a basketball. Anyway, Adrianna thinks he makes a comfy bed. She has to lay on him to love him cuz he is way to heavy to pick up. LOL. I am torn in how I feel that they left to go back to Saginaw. I don't play well with others who are related to me, who are living in and hogging all my precious space. But it was really nice having Adrianna there. She was so cute. She would come to my bedroom door when I was home in my bedroom either if I was going to bed, or if it was morning. I have a hole cut in my bedroom door (like a cat door) that is there for the cats to be able to get in and out of my bedroom while I am gone and get away from Lightning (the dog) or in this case, Adrianna. Anyway, I was woken up many times by Adrianna sitting on the floor in front of my door looking in through the hole saying "Aunt Jennifer, open the door. Aunt Jennifer, let me in" It was cute. Thank goodness it was cute the whole time. It was the standing on my computer table playing with my radio saying "turn it loud" and cranking my radio really loud and turning it off when I was listening to it.

They are back home in Saginaw and I have my home back to myself. Now I just need to remember where I put all my stuff I didn't want little miss getting in to like my Tigger pillow I got for my birthday.

Yuppers, I had a birthday! I am officially 25. We had our usual Tuesday night dinner with birthday cake. Amanda made this really pretty red velvet pink & green butterfly cake and I got presents. Thats always nice getting presents. I got the cutest Tigger pillow from Amy and a new butterfly journal from Sharon and more scrapbooking stuff. Then on thursday, I had an amazing day at work on my birthday. My coworkers were so good to me. It was a really fun day. Ronda, a nurse I work with even bought Chinese for us at work & made some really yummy Shrimp linguine. Even though she ended up getting the day off. Our unit housekeeper, Cindy M, made one of her amazing Carrot cakes and brought it in on her day off too. I got a new Tiara too.

The best part about my birthday was I got the "Princess Mobile" back. The afternoon shift let me leave long enough to return my rental car and pick up my car. It felt so nice to get my car back. Hansen Collision did an amazing job on my car. They even cleaned out my trunk! I had a can a V8 juice that had gotten spilled in the trunk and dried back in October (my car jack slid into it a few too many times and finally did make it any longer in one piece.) My car looks and smells brand new. Better than it did before I bought it. Of course it should by the list of things they did to my car I'm not surprised. I don't know why, all I did was hit a deer head-on at 50 mph.

Weekly weigh in: Didnt make - see photo below

2008-11-12T01:22:00.000-05:00

I have a had a week from hell. I have been sicker than a dog. Slept the last few days away when my water went out in my place again. Of course my parents are out of town! I knowing I had to go back to work tomorrow, I drug myself outta bed and did my laundry. After that was TOPS, or so I thought. I called Sharon to let her know I was running behind cuz of my laundry. Well I never made it to tops afterall. I was a little over a mile away from home when it happened. I got my very 1st buck!!!

I have added a photo - not a good one, it was taken with my cell phone (so I could send it to my dad who is down with my uncle in saginaw for the night. Do I know how to get attention or what?!

I'm gonna sign off for now. I'm starting to get really sore. The doc at Munson said I was going to be in a lot of pain in the next couple days. GOOODIE! Tomorrow, I will get to see my car in the daylight. I couldnt see much with it being a dark purple car in the dark. Of all the days I left my camera at home, it was when something actually happened.

Until next time~ Jennifer

6 week photo comparison

2008-11-06T22:46:00.000-05:00

On Nov 4th, I had my sister take a picture to see if my weightloss was noticable. So below I have added 2 pics. The pic on the Left was taken 2 days before surgery on Sept 23rd, and the pic on the right was take Nov 4th, Exactly 6 weeks apart to the day! Ironically, I am wearing the same shirt in both! lol.
I am 18.5lbs lighter in the pic on the right. What do you think, can you tell I have lost?

Week 5 weigh in: -10.25lb

2008-11-05T01:38:00.000-05:00

This past week, October 30th, I went into to see the surgeon for my very first band fill. That was 5 days ago. So between lots of exercise, water and new restriction I managed to get a nice loss.

I should have posted about my fill and I should now but I am so tired. My sister Michelle & 3 year old neice showed up to spend some time at my house with me. So once I get some (much needed!) rest I will elaborate further on my 1st fill experience and my great loss.
For now I am gonna get my butt into bed. Of course not until I empty all the contents of my spare room off of my bed!

Goodnight~

Week 4 weigh in: -1.00lb

2008-10-28T21:55:00.000-04:00

I actually made it to this weeks' tops meeting. I missed last week because I didn't feel well. The way I have been feeling lately, I thought for sure I was going to gain. Whew! boy was I happy to have a loss. I am still +1.25lbs from my lowest after surgery. But that is gonna come off plus much more next week. If I were to say that I have been super motivated and behaving myself completely that would be a huge lie! I don't know if it's the weather or what but I have been in a "funk" lately. Hopefully by Thursday I will be feeling more like myself.

I can't believe it's a month already since I had my surgery. I would have posted something sooner but that darn thing called work has gotten in the way of a lot of my hopes and plans. I will get an updated pic soon. I am hoping to get a pic taken every so often so I can have a visual to go by. Once I do I will be posting a new pic eventually.

Thursday I will be going in for my very 1st fill! I am so excited to get my fill over with. I am a little nervous about it too. My appt is in the middle of the day of course. So I will be using my "lunch break" to go to my appt. Then clear liquids for the rest of the day. I guess tomorrow after work I will be making some jello for my dinner! Yummeeeee! I have some restriction now, but not as much as I should.

I will update on Thursday after my fill & maybe add a pic or 2.
~Jennifer~

Scrapbooking weekend

2008-10-21T16:40:00.001-04:00

I spent this last weekend at out annual scrapbooking weekend. I look forward to this weekend every March and October. I was worried about having all the temptation that is around during scrapbooking. Sue, the hostess, is an AMAZING cook. Besides, all the soda at your fingertips, and homemade caramels & chocolate covered marshmallows. I did have a couple (watered down!) sodas, and only 1 caramel. They were soooooo good! And they lasted me forever it seemed. That, and I didn't want to stand out because of my restriction. I was also afraid that with my luck I would end up getting sick for the 1st time there. (Well that did happen, just not at scrapbooking. It happened at home while getting ready to go scrapbooking.)
I started a new scrapbook, also titled My After, that I am using to keep me motivated that I can track my progress. I did work my tail off getting my pages done thou. I needed that caffeine to keep me going!

Today at work, I have had a few people already saying that it is noticeable already that I am loosing. One of Hospitalist was seeing a pt on our unit and said that it was already noticeable that I am loosing. I can't remember what exactly he said. But it was a nice feeling. Even a pt told me I was loosing my "chubby cheeks".
Tonight is another weigh-in at TOPS and I am hoping that after this last weekend that I will come in with a loss. It's going to be slower now that I am eating all textures. I know it will be a lot different once I get my 1st fill this next week. I am excited and nervous all at the same time

But of course, just like scrapbooking came to an end, so must this post.
Until next time ~ Princess Jenn

Back to work/ Week 3 weigh in: +2.25lbs

2008-10-15T21:57:00.000-04:00

It has been crazy here lately. Well the days my life isn't crazy are days days I don't answer the phone and stay home in bed. So it's not very often.

I started back to work on Monday. Man, oh man, those 12 hour days are long! Answering a phone should not be that tiring. I hope that by next week I will be back into the swing of things. I hope! Plus I need to work on some serious meal planning and packing my lunch for work.

On the weight loss front, I could have done so much better. I actually gained back 2.25lbs. I'm not surprised now that I am eating just about all textures now. I should start loosing again now. It won't be long and I will be going for my 1st fill. I have some restriction but it's not quite enough. My Dr. said to do 5-6 meals a day, each about the size of a hockey puck. I have been trying to stick to that and not get used to eating any more than that. I am doing better at eating slower & taking smaller bites. I am positive that from now on my weigh in's will even out. On the upside, I am down 24lbs down from my initial consult with the surgeon till now. So I am still down!

I am so excited about scrap booking this weekend. I printed a ton of pictures. I have enough things to start my surgery scrapbook and work on plenty of niece & nephew pictures. I am a little concerned about the whole eating in front of a strangers. Sue (the hostess) is an incredible cook so I'm not worried too much about that. However, I will have to take plenty of food with me so I will be able to have my 5-6 small meals. Otherwise, I might get a little cranky by not being on my schedule. I have already found that if I go too long between eating I tend eat too fast.

Wish me luck that I behave myself at scrap booking and don't fall asleep on my pages!

1st trip post surgery

2008-10-12T22:16:00.001-04:00

This past weekend I went with my parents to the UP to visit my cousin. I spent 9 hours each way in the car. Let me say, I am so happy to be home. We went all the way near the Wisconsin border. We ended up getting a hotel room in Wisconsin because it was closet to where we visiting.

Anyway, this was my 1st weekend out of town since my surgery. I am now coming up on 3 weeks post surgery. (In 2 weeks, on Oct 30th, I have my 1st fill. Which means I am on the soft foods & adding textures part of my staged diet. I got to start this part of my eating habits in restaurants. It was a little scary at first. I have known for a while that that I can tolerate mashed potatoes, mac & cheese and applesauce. So I thought since my 1st fill is a week sooner than usual I decided to start adding things like the Dr said to. I was honest about starting the soft textures early and he said that it was OK since I had no problems.

So this past weekend I learned I can tolerate in very, very small portions: burgers, fries, hash browns, toast, eggs (duh!), pasta (duh!), broasted chicken, and pasties (with gravy). I was happy know that I can tolerate bread. I never thought I would miss salads so much!
It's not easy to eat healthy when you are traveling but I am certainly eating less. I tried to order off the kids meal when possible. Also, I shared as many meals as I could with my parents & cousin.

Not that I didn't have any problems. It is extremely hard to change your habits. I am catching myself over and over again taking drinks and bites that are too big. When that happens, I try to chew really good and take several swallows. Of course that happens after I have swallowed too much and start feeling uncomfortable. I have been able to keep from getting sick by taking sips of whatever I had with me and trying to get out any of the extra air.

I have to keep reminding myself of what I should be doing. Like sizes of the portions, bites, and drinks I take. From now on when I go shopping I will start getting a dish or 2 that are more suited to my new portion sizes. Like dessert dishes & small juice glasses. It is definitely going to be different eating at work with this band. I am going to have to be much better about taking my lunch. The eating slowly part could be a bit tricky as far time factors into work and break times.

Speaking of work. It's time to dust off my name tag & find my parking sticker because Princess Jenn is going back to work tomorrow. I wish I could say I am excited to be getting up at 5:30am again. I like getting a paycheck so I am going to get my ever shrinking behind to bed.
Goodnight!

2 Week Post op appt.

2008-10-09T16:42:00.000-04:00

I had my appt today with the surgeon. It's been exactly 2 weeks today since my surgery. It went GREAT! He even wrote on my chart "Doing Great!!" Yes I looked, I'm nosy. So far to date I am am down 23 lbs since my initial consult on June 6th, and 14 since Sept 11th. Dr Kam, my surgeon, said I should be down total 80lbs by the end of the year. OMG!! I cannot even imagine that. But I guess when you break it down, 60lbs in like 12 weeks it is not nearly as daunting. I can take myself cloths shopping for Christmas. :)

My incisions are almost healed. Of course, I have had a minor set back with that. I had an allergic reaction to the tape they used to hold my incisions closed. But hopefully with a little bit allergy cream and hydrocortisone cream I will be as good as new.

Unfortunately, the fun is over too soon. I have to go back to work on Monday. But as much as I hate to admit it. I am starting to get bored. I know work itself won't be bad, it's the getting up at 5:30Am that's is going to be awful. I don't do mornings. When I stopped in to work today to turn in my return to work paper everyone was very supportive as usual. They are making this transition very easy on me. Thank you.

Lapbandtalk.com

2008-10-08T19:21:00.000-04:00

I'm enjoying what is probably my last my day off. I have my 2 week post op appointment tomorrow. I am going to have a hard time getting up at 8am. It's going to be much worse getting up for work. I went to bed today (yes today!) at 5:30am. That's when I should be getting up for work. But I could not sleep to save my life.
Is it bad that I want more time off. I love my job but I can't imagine working 12 hours. Not that I have a physically demanding job, but still 12 hours. I am going to miss sleeping in.

I recently started looking into lapbandtalk.com. It was actually a site recommended by a fellow bander. I have only made a few post and already the support and encouragement is astounding. There are so many different points of view and it is so nice to read all the threads people start and how others respond,

I have so much to do here before Private Practice comes on. I am going to try hard to get to be a decent hour.
Wish me luck tomorrow at the surgeons. :)

Week 2 Weigh in: Turtle

2008-10-07T22:59:00.000-04:00

I'm here again. It's 2 days shy of being 2 weeks since surgery. For those of you who don't, a "Turtle" is a term from tops. It's when you don't gain or loose any weight since your last weigh in, you stay the same.
That being said, that puts me at -10lbs. To be honest, I would have preferred a loss but I am okay with a turtle. I thought loosing 10 last week was way too much for me to lose. Plus it has been nice to have more than clear liquids. Of course, it will be nice after my 2 week post-op appt when I can more variety. I'm not so much excited about what more I will be able to eat (ok, ok, ok, I am a little bit or lets face it I wouldn't have needed this surgery to begin with). Anyway my point was, I am excited to be able to cook. I miss that more than I thought.

I am ready to get to bed. So until Thursday after my appt. & maybe before I go back to work.

It's been a week!

2008-10-03T00:34:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to do a quick post since today makes it a week since surgery.
I am very happy to say I can now have more than just clear liquids. I had tomato soup & ice cream and yogurt today. Let me tell ya, MMM good, doesn't even begin to describe it. I actually started yesterday with the full liquids though. I had my hot chai tea yesterday with honey and 1/2 and 1/2 (low fat even cuz I prefer it over reg). I love my coffee and tea but I came do black unless its ice and with honey or sugar. I figure the tiny amount of honey and sugar I actually use most certainly isn't gonna kill me.

Overall I feel pretty good. I don't get as tired as easily now that I am actually getting some nutrition in me. Plus, I haven't had the hiccups all day today. My pain has gone down to almost nothing. Of course, it comes blazing back if I try to overdo it. Bending is still not a good idea, probably because where the port is and how tender is can be still. I plan on starting to drive again tomorrow since I have been only using pain medicine at bedtime. Another week of this & I would go nuts.
Until next time - Princess Jenn says goodnight *_*

Hiccups & Coughing - Not a good idea

2008-10-01T12:02:00.000-04:00

OMG!! Who knew that either of those could hurt so badly. Now that I have finally said it allow me to explain.
First, Hiccups. I have had hiccups on an off every day since surgery. The little tiny, lets call it a "jolt". For starters: 1) Hurts like hell, especially at the incision sites where the actual band and port are placed. 2) Come and go for now rhyme or reason. 3) Make me have no desire at all to even try drinking anything let alone want to eat & 4) I'm a sure there are more issues with this that I am just not thinking of right now.

Now everything I have read and been told says that with the lap band system eating too fast causes hiccups. Not once have I had the hiccups when I was eating. I get them in the middle of the day between meals and long periods of time after I have even taken a sip of water. So since I don't what is causing them, I cannot stop them from happening. The plus side, even though painful they have not lasted more than a couple mins each time.

Coughing I really had not thought about since I didn't really have to much until last night. Again, OMG! I don't really know remember what made me cough or why. That sounds insane but I had just laid down to go to sleep in my own bed with my big ole dog cuddled next to me when it happened. I coughed one of those deep, hearty, throat clearing coughs. I had was laying on my side with my hand under me covering my biggest wound (where the port is) and it still hurt very much!! I even felt myself starting to cough again and stopped myself because I absolutely did not want to feel that pain again. And mind you this is after taking my pain medicine like 30 mins before, so I'm sure it could have been much worse. Now it still feels a little extra tender today after last night. I'm going to try not to overdo it today by bending too much.
That's all for now so until next time. thank you again
- Princess Jenn

1st weigh in post surgery : -10lbs

2008-09-30T23:18:00.000-04:00

Tonight I attended my 1st TOPS meeting since surgery 5 days ago. I lost 10lbs since last Tuesday! Of course every week won't be this big of a loss considering I will soon (not soon enough!) be eating more than clear liquids cuz darn it I'm getting cranky :)

For those of you who don't know what tops is, it is a non-profit weight loss support group. I have been in it so many years that I should weight 5 pounds by now! But oh well, had I not been going this long I probably would have weight twice what I did before I decided on surgery. You can visit the site at http://www.tops.org/.

Anyway, we meet every Tuesday night. So the plan is to at least do a posting at least once a week after I weigh in at tops. Plus I will update my subtitle each week to show how much I have lost all together. Which of course right now is the 10lbs I lost this week (even though I am officially down almost 20 since I started getting close to surgery).

Plus I came home today. My parent's are back from downstate so Sharon was relieved of her "babysitting" duties. It was nice to have someone to talk to at night and watch movies with. Not that I will have much free time now, it's amazing how much there is to do here. My Lightning Bug was so happy to me. My dad called me before he picked me up today to tell me he made sure the dog was outside before I got home. He said she looked all happy and excited when he said to her "momma's coming home today". I'm sure she was, but I think more so she is happy that she can sleep in my bed again. Although she does not leave my side when I have been home today.

I think I have rambled on enough so I will close for now. However, I do want to say "Thank you" again for all the support and encouragement I have received!! Thank you! :)

Friends

2008-09-28T23:39:00.000-04:00

Today I got to spend part of the day with friends. I say part of the day cuz I haven't been awake for the whole thing. Besides that, Sharon is stuck with me all day. I got to go on my 1st real outing since surgery. We went to Walmart. I love walmart. I could also go broke spending too much time in that store.

I was still treated like a princess. Not that I would have it any other way, but it's hard to explain to kids when they need to be careful and not take away Princess Jenn's pillow. But all is well anyway. Today I had jello, broth, italian ice, juice brought down to me and told I must eat it. I was a good girl, I did as I was told. Not that, that happens very often. And later while everyone else got to have Shepard's pie and cornbread, I ate my jello like a good girl. Not that I even close to eating like that, it did smell good.

But anyway, the main reason for this additional blog for tonight is to that you again. All of you, for being so great through all this.

<---- Ben and Amanda, My Lightning bug thanks you too ~

(Also, I'm my parents thank you for helping out. thanks a bunch!)

Recovery

2008-09-28T12:29:00.000-04:00

It is now 3 days after surgery & here I am at my very good friend Sharon's recovering. I am doing pretty good as far as pain. I think the biggest problem I am having is I am surprised how much pain I am actually in. I have turned into a big sissy! I have already been given the "don't over do it" lecture too many times to keep track of. Ok, maybe not that many times but when your talking to a girl (me) who is taking liquid vicodin not a whole sinks in. :)

There's Sharon ------> I've been here 2 days and she's still smiling, sorta. lol

I have been trying to take it easy and not do too much like I did on Friday. They sprung me from the hospital on Friday and after that I had to do some grocery shopping & wanted to pick up my pictures I ordered ( to have ready for our upcoming scrap booking weekend.) Well I felt good until I got home, Boy was I tired! But I took a much needed nap. Now I am not allowed to over do anything. Sharon and Joe have both been great!! Sharon has been really extremely nice. They got all the good stuff for me, ok, well the stuff I can have. Popsicles, jello (she even made it!), broth and juice. It's been a long time since anyone has done that for me. Besides Sharon helping me by making sure I am eating & giving up her bed, Joe brought the bar stool from their kitchen down to the basement so I could use my computer at the bar/counter down here with Sharon. I tell ya, either my parent's better get home soon or I better be 100% or I'm moving in. lol.

<------ There's Joe, hiding from the camera. I used to be a lot sneakier with getting pics but he is a little fast for me right now. Thanks Joe!

Besides the visitors in the hospital, My parents, Sharon, Jane from work, Jim ( I am such a princess the PA that I work with came to see me in the hospital) and my Aunt Marilyn came too. She even brought me flowers. They are so pretty, & they are still alive. I am so proud of myself for that one. Oh got off a tangent. I have had a dozen voicemail's & text messages too! Of course the 1 important thing I forgot was my cell charger. But that's ok since I haven't been awake enough to answer it and talk coherently.

On that note if I forgot something, or am making no sense, I am blaming it on the pain meds. Also I am ready for a nap. No, I haven't been sleeping the whole time. Close to it though, but it's hard trying to find out how I am comfortable. It's a little weird knowing that there is a foreign object in your body and of course it's on the side I normally sleep on. Just my luck.

Anyway, until next time. Happy sleeping.

Surgery Day is here

2008-09-24T23:20:00.000-04:00

I really should have been in bed a few hours ago. I am scheduled for my lap band surgery tomorrow morning at 7:15AM. But I have to be there at 5AM. I haven't slept much in the last couple days and I don't plan on that actually happening much until tom night. Of course it is going to be weird being a pt in the hospital I have worked for 6 years. I have worked as an Nursing Assistant many times on the nursing unit I will be on, mind you it has been a few years but still. I hope I don't see too many ppl that I have worked with and know while I am on the other side of the Nurses desk for a change.
It seems so far away still maybe that's why I can't talk myself into getting my butt into bed yet. I Have done the whole "clear liquid" diet today and have been none to happy to hear a certain friend keep reminding of all the foods I can't have, even though I have been starving all day. You know who you are! Just kidding. It really hasn't been that bad. If nothing else, I got lots of encouragement and hugs. A princess has to at least do her best to make sure those around her know she ain't going away quietly. Ok, ok, ok, so I don't do quiet very well. But hey, that's me and why ppl love me. lol
I have to say I am not as bummed about not being able to eat as I am the no driving, no swimming and 25lb weight restriction. That is gonna be awful. I get antsy very quickly with no wheels. Plus my poor dog is gonna be so hurt when I won't let her sleep on me. She has become accustomed to me being her pillow and blanket warmer.
For now, I must close. I have to do all my double checks. Make sure I have all my stuff packed, my ipod ( a must!), my comfy cloths, my teddy bear since I can't take my big ole doggie j/k.

My 1st Blog!

2008-09-22T00:10:00.000-04:00

After some prodding from a few friends I am starting this blog to document this new time in my life.
So here I am. After many, many years of being unhappy in my own skin because of my weight, I made a decision. I decided to have the Gastric Banding surgery. I didn't so much just decided on it, as I prayed about it. It was after another scrapbooking weekend of seeing too many pictures of the "fat girl" I had become, in all my photos holding my niece & nephews. Besides the fact, I am the fun Aunt & I want to be around long enough to not only be an aunt but a mom someday. I will be adding pics soon, but for now I must say goodnight.