S-T-R-E-S-S!!

Lately my scale has been back and forth in the same 2-4# range for the last couple months. I’d be lying if it was just a normal plateau. I know that I haven’t been good about my exercise lately. That and I have my days where I don’t even care what I eat or don’t eat (like protein). Usually its after I have a bad food day. Those are those days where it seems like nothing goes down easily at all. No matter what it is, or how healthy it is. So there’s that part of my stalled scale.

And the other major factor to this lack of loosing? Stress
Why yes, it wouldn’t be my life if I have no stress. I honestly don’t think I would know how to function in a stress free lifestyle. But of course, we all know that is not going to happen in this lifetime or another. Even when I went for my last appt with Dr K. he told me all about stress and how it affects weight loss. Then told me go get my stress under control. I have been trying to do for sometime now. But with the holidays, winter bills starting and the new additions to my household since my sister and 2 nieces moved in with me its been harder this time around. Anyway, I digress.

Now I would be lying if I haven’t gone back and forth on the whole gaining faith, loosing faith, giving up and feeling like I’ve just been jumpstarted with a car battery with motivation. Unfortunately those jumpstarts of motivation usually happen as I am finally getting tucked nice into bed around midnight and have to be up by 6am for work the next day. Not the most opportune time to hitting the gym if I do say so myself.

But as much as I want to just give up those are the times I go back to “Before” picture. Wow, what a motivator! I never want to be that size/weight ever again. And as these holidays come quickly upon us, I will keep that image in the back of my mind to pull out as I think about reaching for something yummy and decadent off the desert table. Not saying that will stop me completely but it will remind me to take much less that I would have before surgery.

For now I better get back to work.
~ Princess Jenn ~

One year out, Baby

This is going to short, snappy and too the point. Since I have been a little, ok a lot, behind when I want to do an awesome all inclusive post.
Basically, I made it thru my 1st year. I'm not down as much as I had hoped and planned to be. Mostly my own fault for not being good enough with the exercise and right food choices from time to time. Then you add in all the time I lost after that damn deer accident. Then after lots and lots of patience, prayers and tears we got a good consistent amount of restriction and then scales started to move in the right (left actually) direction.
At my 1 yr post-op appt. with Dr. K. He said so far he was happy with how status considering the difficulties with the right amount of restriction for me. That made me feel so much better.
Since I was down 11lbs from appt. from 6 weeks prior we agreed to stay at the 4.2cc restriction. Why mess with a good thing? No point in adding in .10-.20cc to have to go back and take .5-1cc back out because it was too tight and causing problems.

Anyway,
this is plenty long enough! The nice hotel bed is looking warm and inviting behind me! 14 hours on a bus to get to Bloomington, MN. I can turn to my right and look out our hotel room window and see the Mall of America. Our destination! So I'm going to go rest and get ready for the days ahead. Though I must admit, it will be hard to sleep without my big ole black lab right next to me. But somehow I think I will manage. *_*

Until Next Time ~Princess Jenn~

Better late, than never!

So this is no where near my best picture. It was at Cracker Barrel (as usual) after a 2 mile walk and a big meal. For me it was a big meal.

Sept 23rd, 2009 - 2 days b4 surg. _____Aug 18th, 2009 (-60lbs)
Shirt size - 5X (& snug) ________Shirt size - 3X (feelin' loose)

I've been waiting on this picture for a while because of the fluctuation in my weight. It finally feels like I am really starting to lose again. I've lost off and on for the past few months but it is all been the same weight over and over again.

Now I am at a restriction that I feel comfortable with. There are plenty of foods that are hard to tolerate but then there are things I can do without a problem.
But now I need to get to bed. I'll get a better picture. Who knows it could be my One year pic. It is coming up quickly!!

Until next time! ~Princess Jenn~

Doing pretty good since my 7/7 fill!

I am finally getting something posted. I've started to do a post like a hundred times it seems but I just haven't been able to get it done. I have all these ideas of thing I want to say but by the time I make it to my computer, my mind goes blank. Like for instance, I am at work right now. I have been here since 11pm and I'm just working on this post now six hours later. I'm still not even sure in what direction this post is headed. lol.

I did make it to cherry festival and shared a corn dog with my dad. I wanted the whole thing to myself but I couldn't eat it all. (In reality I probably could have eaten the whole thing had I eaten slower, still working on getting better at that) That was on Sunday. I didn't get my fill until Tuesday. Now before surgery I could have eaten at least 2 and still have room for more. Since my fill I have been trying to watch my protein intake and getting my fluids in. I'm not doing so hot on the fluids. But I am getting better about my food choices. I have to be with what I can eat. A girl can't afford to waste what little bit of room she has on something that isn't worth it.

So it has been a little over a week since my last fill. To say it was a good visit would be a lie. I gained another 4lbs! Of course the tops scale didn't reflect the same thing that night. But it was still a gain there too. Which considering that I had been sick for so long, it could have been much worse. But now I am hoping to start back on the losers path.

Anyway, I left with .25cc more in my band than I went in with. I'm up to 4.0cc's. Yippeeee. I am at that point where my band can end up being too tight or feeling no restriction. Since I was too tight at 4.5cc, Dr K said from now on I will get fill's .10cc at a time. Yes, that's right, a tenth of a cc at a time. Dr K told me not to get discouraged since I am almost a yr out from surgery & haven't lost as much as I should/could and that people sometimes start to think "I could have just dieted to get here"

Well yes and no. I definitely feel defeated more days lately than I feel like this has been a success. But then I try to stop and remind myself how long of a journey this has been. (Boy there are days I have to really remind myself how far I've come. 50-60lbs is better than gaining or not still being at my heaviest.) . I have to look at all the obstacles I've had to face since my surgery in September. I know that I went 3 whole months without a fill in my band because of my 2nd surgery.

Anyway, I better close for now. I am starting to get tired. Which isn't a good thing. I've been here at work sitting as a safety companion since 11pm. (Why I volunteered I'm not really sure at this point!) I have 9 more hours to go. At least I get to go do my "real" job for the last 8 of them. Sucks to be me at this point in time. It better be worth it come payday!

I need to wrap this up for now. I need to get my books and stuff together to start my real job as mentioned above. It will be 7am before I know it. I hope the same can be true for 3pm :)
Until next time,
~Princess Jenn~

Picture from my ID badge at work.

The other day a coworker mentioned to me that I really needed a new name badge. Now being not totally on top of things I looked at my nametag to double check that I hadn't broken it.

Obviously, what he meant was that the picture no longer looks like me. At the time I didn't think I looked too bad in it. Now of course, after looking at it I loathe it! But yet, I still love it. It is a nice straight picture of my face, that very clearly shows off my many chins I had that never really noticed!  Since then I have been checking my nametag daily to remind myself that even though I am having one of those awful days where I feel like I'm bigger than I was before surgery,I am on the right track.

 Jennifer

Healthier & Happier days from here on in!

Here are some quick thoughts before I head to bed! I have been so bad about posting (and weight loss) lately. But I promise I haven't been going all hog wild this whole time. Maybe a little bit here and there but nothing too bad :)
For anyone who has talked to me over the last 2 months knows I had been sicker than a dog for what seemed like forever. I was sick with bronchitis/sinus infection for over 6 weeks! Its pretty bad when you walk into the pharmacy and they say "Hi Jennifer, it'll be ready in just a few minutes. When I seen your name come up I knew you would be right in." That was the 3rd time I have been to the Munson Pharmacy in a months time. Its a good thing I can use my name tag to pay for all that antibiotics and everything else they put me on to get me better. And it's about time too.
I knew something wasn't right when after losing 50-60lbs (depending on the weeks weigh in) I was more tired going up 1 flight of stairs than I would have been going up 2 pre-surgery. I hope that made sense. It does in my head. Of course it is past my bedtime.

I just can't say enough how great today was. It was a crazy, busy day that kept going and going and didn't seem like it would ever end. But after being sick and overwhelmed with everything from money (lack of) to bills (an over abundance of) to housework (an never ending job) today felt like reassurance that I can handle this life and journey that I'm on and come out better than I had hoped. Now come tomorrow, I probably won't be so optimistic. But for now I am going to savor this.

Also, I am enjoying just being Jennifer. Actually, that Princess Jennifer to you. While I was at my worst, I had my 3 1/2 year old niece Adrianna. That lil snot is a busy bee. I'm lucky I survived. Thanks in a major way due to Sharon. She helped by babysitting Adrianna while I was at work for 3 very long 12 hour days. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Sharon. Not long after Adrianna went home, my nephews came to visit. Alex & Flipper aka Phillip. Those busy boys, 6 1/2 and 5 respectively, were here for 6 whole days. Them boys got to see go to Aunt Sharon's too.
Now I love all 3 of them little cuties to pieces but once I got my bed back, It was amazing! I slept like I hadn't in months. I had finally quit coughing and was on the road to feeling better. Which is partly why I chose to have surgery in the 1st place. Even as sick as I had been during the time the short people were here, it was so much easier than it was last year when I was at my heaviest. I take pride in being the cool, fun aunt who gets on the floor to play with the kids, the aunt that takes them to the beach and throws and chases them in the swimming pool.
This is way too long but oh well. I am now too tired to bother cutting it down. I'll just consider it making up for my silence since May.

Until next time ~ Princess Jenn

Lift what you lost at MI TOPS SRD May 2009

So a couple weekends ago I went to the TOPS MI SRD (State Recognition Days) in Port Huron. Along with all the big (weight) losers they had an awesome motivation speaker by the name of Jodi Davis. She lost 162lbs. Now that is motivational.

They also had booth where you lift what you've lost, in pounds. In the above picture I am holding 46lbs. See that look on my face. That is from the burden of holding that 46lbs of food for like 2 mins. Man, oh man, I don't know how I carried it all the time. Also, at the time of this photo I was actually down 55lbs! It was 9lbs less than what I had lost. After a minute of holding that weight I not only was it awkward standing there with that amount of weight but I started to feel warm and my back started to hurt right away.

Anyway, for now I should go. I will be posting later on tonight or tom about my latest fill. Yuppers! I got another fill.

~Princess Jenn~